Real-Time Expert Film Commentary: BRAINSCAN

Tonight on Real-Time Expert Film Commentary we review the 1994 Edward Furlong classic, “Brainscan”. This time with animated .gifs(!) and assistance from The Mysterious New Zealand Noodle Man. Let’s get started, shall we?

I’m watching a movie called ‘Brainscan’. It stars Edward Furlong and it’s about an evil videogame. about 20 hours ago from twitterrific

We shall see if it’s truly commentary-worthy. I’m already laughing at the mid-90s technology. about 20 hours ago from twitterrific

“Dude, its an interactive CD-ROM!!” about 20 hours ago from twitterrific

These kids seem pretty excited by the prospect of an INTERACTIVE video game. I don’t think they understand what a video game is. about 20 hours ago from twitterrific

BOOBS!! about 20 hours ago from twitterrific

Furlong is a creepy little voyeur. It’s the role he was born to play. about 20 hours ago from twitterrific

If this kid moves in next door to you, you should probably invest in some curtains.

He called the company thru his computer! Whoa, dude. It’s like he can talk to people with his computer. I wish I could do that. about 20 hours ago from twitterrific

ProjectX2 @Dr_Moonmaster How are you sending these messages to me? STOP COMMUNICATING WITH THE DEVIL! about 20 hours ago from TwitterFox in reply to Dr_Moonmaster

Damn principle trying to screw with the horror movie club!….wait, what school would allow a horror movie club?? about 20 hours ago from twitterrific

@ProjectX2 I can’t stop. I AM THE DEVIL. about 20 hours ago  from twitterrific  in reply to ProjectX2

Furlong is playing the videogame, which let’s you see through the eyes of a killer. Y’know, like Animal Crossing. about 20 hours ago from twitterrific

He’s cutting off a guy’s foot. I’m sorry, but that’s just taking a fetish too far. about 20 hours ago from twitterrific

The murder really happened, because this time – THE GAME IS FOR REAL. about 20 hours ago from twitterrific

Foot in the fridge. Almost as bad as head in the fridge, and not nearly as bad as balls in the fridge. about 20 hours ago from twitterrific

ProjectX2 I lost my balls in the fridge once. about 20 hours ago from TwitterFox

@ProjectX2 They’re such a pain to thaw too. about 20 hours ago from twitterrific in reply to ProjectX2

Oh shit, some creepy devil guy just came out of the TV! Bad special effects! Weird mohawk/mullet hairdo! Truly terrifying stuff. about 20 hours ago from twitterrific

What. The. Fuck. A year after Jurassic Park and this is the best they could do? Wow.

He’s dancing around to Primus. It gets scarier and scarier. about 20 hours ago from twitterrific

The horror.  The horror.

Apparently, watching a girl undress makes her fall in love with you. My suspicions are correct. about 20 hours ago from twitterrific

He tried making a video of himself playing the game. I think he also recorded some kind of rant about noodles. about 20 hours ago

He killed his obnoxious friend. That’s not being a very good BFFF, bro. about 19 hours ago from twitterrific

ProjectX2 @Dr_Moonmaster NOODLES! WHY DID THEY CHANGE THEM?! about 19 hours ago from TwitterFox in reply to Dr_Moonmaster

Devil Man gorges self on random food items. Story at eleven. about 19 hours ago from twitterrific

Furlong had a dream where he was getting it on with Neighbor Girl and she morphed into the guy he killed. How very erotic. about 19 hours ago from twitterrific

There’s a dog that they’re using, and I swear it’s the best actor in the whole movie. about 19 hours ago from twitterrific

Devil Guy wants Furlong to kill Neighbor Girl. How utterly predictable. about 19 hours ago from twitterrific

Furlong tried to kill Devil Guy and then Devil Guy ate him, sort of. More terrible special effects, of course. about 19 hours ago from twitterrific

“AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!! I WISH THIS MOVIE HAD A HIGHER BUDGEEETTTT!!!”

Now they are one. about 19 hours ago from twitterrific

Neighbor Girl was watching and photographing him, too. How sweet. Two perverts found each other. about 19 hours ago  from twitterrific

“Game over, you lose.” Cliche-ariffic. about 19 hours ago from twitterrific

THE WHOLE THING WAS A FUCKING DREAM!!! WHAT A TWIST!!! about 19 hours ago from twitterrific

Now Furlong is freaking the fuck out, for obvious reasons. about 19 hours ago from twitterrific

“Kyle!” “No, it’s Axl Rose.” So very 90s. about 19 hours ago from twitterrific

It turns out Neighbor Girl really does like him, IRL. about 19 hours ago from twitterrific

He gave the game to the principle, to review. Revenge is a dish best served with corny 90s pop culture references. about 19 hours ago from twitterrific

But wait, there’s more! The dog, with a severed foot. Long story. And end with some fucking metal. Fuck yeah. about 19 hours ago from twitterrific

For a 90s movie, that was pretty 80s about 19 hours ago from twitterrific

I give it 666 Primus Dancing Devil Men out of ten. Or none, BECAUSE IT WAS ALL A FUCKING DREAM!!! about 19 hours ago  from twitterrific

That’s seriously how the movie ends.

- Eddie Furlo-, I mean…Sean. Yes. Sean. (Did you know I can make .gifs now?)

AUG 2008